Friday, October 9, 2009

No insignificant moments...

As you probably have noticed I don't post much here in the way of personal stuff. This blog's purpose is to keep those interested in urban farmhouse informed of new/old goods and events we are involved in. However, our community lost a giant, a young giant, in a very tragic way and the following, written by my husband, needs to be shared.

~*~*Above is Gabrielle and friend Tyler...Gabrielle passed away last week as a result of a car accident. Please include her parents, sister and brothers in your prayers.~*~*

No Insignificant Moments - Perry Maughmer

I was listening to Jim Tressel’s weekly press conference last week when they asked him his thoughts on the Stafon Johnson incident earlier in the week. The young man had been involved in a freak accident in the weight room and had dropped 275 pounds on his throat while bench pressing. Thankfully, he is projected to make a full recovery. Well, Coach Tressel thought for a moment and then said the most profound thing I had heard in some time, “It shows us that there are no insignificant moments.” I was glad (and not at all surprised) that Coach Tressel had taken this opportunity to expand the conversation far beyond football. He turned the conversation into one about all of us and shared something we all can and should think about.

I am also quite certain this hit me a bit harder due to an event that had happened that same week in my small corner of the world. A young lady who had graduated in 2008 from the high school my kids attend had lost her life in a car accident. She was life-flighted to the hospital where they operated for her internal injuries but the injuries to her head were too severe and it was determined that she would never recover. The family prayed and determined that if it was God’s will for the young lady to survive, she would do so without the aid of machines. They also honored her wishes to be an organ/tissue donor and she gave the gift of life to 8 people that day. We returned tonight from calling hours and I was touched by the number of people standing in line to offer their condolences to the family and to each other. The most profound scenes were the young people consoling each other, sharing stories, and trying to laugh through their tears. This young woman touched so many people with her smile and uplifting outlook on live. She most definitely added to anyone’s life she came in contact with. A counselor from her college said she had the kind of smile that made you smile back.

I read somewhere once that human beings cannot recall pain after the event. We can remember that it did not feel good but we cannot recall the intense agony that accompanies a sprained ankle, broken finger, or a broken heart. This is obviously a good thing because if we could, we might limit ourselves to only those things that are safe and that would be a miserable life.

The one thing we can do is make sure that we do not allow “stuff” to get in the way of our lives. We can’t become so pre-occupied with bills, appointments, work, etc. that we forget that the quality of our lives will be directly proportional to the quality of our relationships. As I write this, I could provide a very personal example of how worries about finances and my job search have adversely affected my relationship with my wife. I have allowed my focus to move away from continuing to nurture my relationship with the lovely woman I have shared the last 19 years with to fault-finding and nit-picking about insignificant issues.

We cannot allow this to happen. There is a friend of mine that has shared the following story in our men’s group. He was talking to his dad on the phone one evening about selling some raffle tickets and closed the conversation with “I’ll talk to you about it tomorrow.” Those were the last words he said to his dad as his father died of a heart attack during the night. I am not proposing that we treat every moment as if it were our last as that would not be practical. I am asking you all to think about how you do things more so than what you do. To put it simply – where ever you are, be all there. Honor those you're with by giving them your full attention and really engaging. Make each person feel like they are the only person in the room. Isn’t that the least we can do?

Remember, what may seem unimportant to you may mean the world to someone else.

-Perry Maughmer
(((((Give the gift of life, 8 very grateful people and their families know Gabrielle was a giant, a hero in life and in death.)))))


summersundays-jw said...

What a sad, sad thing. She had such a lovely, sweet voice & at that moment she was so happy & had no idea.... My heart breaks for all those who loved her. They're in my prayers. Jan

chickie said...

What a voice to share with others out there.Taking the time to tell the story of moments that can change your way of thinking what really is important.Those minutes of telling someone or taking those few min just to let them know you care.Can mean so much.This hots home for me.Thank-you for making the time to share this story.God Bless you and your family as well.Chickie

Fancy Fodder said...

My prayers are with those families.
This post is thought provoking and true. Thank you for sharing.
God bless.

Invited In said...

Thank you for sharing. My sweet neighbor was good friends with Gaby. She went to church camp(near buckeye lake) with her every year and was amazingly touched by Gaby's life.
My heart aches for this young girls family as well as her dear friends who miss her dearly.
May we all truly live life moment by moment being aware that every breath we take is a blessing from the Lord.

randee said...

you could tell she was so sweet & special by the way she sang & her body language. what a tragic loss for those left behind. and - what a special husband you have. please thank him for sharing his thoughts with us, he's a keeper.

peace -

Simply Dandy said...

It was not just happenstance that I came upon your blog today. What a beautiful young woman and what a devastating loss for those who loved her. I needed this kick in the butt today.

Thank you.


~Cherie said...

I was so touched by this video and your post. I searched and found her online video tribute. It is obvious how much she was and always will be loved. Some people seem to just "get it" and live life to it's fullest, giving all their best. Thanks for the reminder that we should all live as beautifully and purposefully as Gabrielle.

Maison Douce said...

I loved, loved, loved this post... It truly makes me stop and think... We get so caught up in mundane things we forget what is truly important... Thanks you!

Tammy said...

So sorry to hear about the loss of your friend.I commend her family for following through with her wish to be an organ donor.A friend of ours was blessed with a liver 2 weeks ago.I'm not sure that he would still be here today if it was not for the donor. His time was running out. There is no better gift than the gift of life. God bless her family and God bless Gabrielle. I watched the video you have posted and she had a voice of an angel even on earth.Perry, your right, there really are no insignificant moments.

The Attic said...

This breaks my heart. After watching the video I gave my 19 yr old daughter the biggest bear hug ever and told her how much I loved her. I don't do that often enough and this sweet girl made me realize that it's something I need to do more often. Her family will be in my prayers.

Suzy said...

So very true... I was reminded of this a week or so ago... We all must remember to stay in the moment. I was sad to hear about the young girl. Best wishes...Suzy

P.S. You are a gifted writer.

Pink Pig said...

I will remember them in my prayers. I too lost a good friend this year who helped me sponsor our yearly walk for the cure. We had our Walk this past Sunday and somehow i knew my friend was looking down at us with a big smile. Thanks for this taking the time to share your story. God Bless.

Edie Marie's Attic said...

What an incredible post! We need to say the things in our hearts today, not tomorrow, since we are not promised tomorrow... only the moment we are in.

May peace & comfort surround those who mourn for this lovely young lady.

Hugs, Sherry