Tuesday, August 16, 2011

A Culinary Bummer

"Ain't nothin' in the world that I like bettuh', then bacon and lettuce and home grown to-matuhs."

But, sigh, my thumbs are not as green as I would like them to be and my memory is even worse! You see I had every intention of having my very own homegrown tomatoes this summer. I bought my plants, just 2 because no one else in the house likes them, and had big plans for them. Then I promptly forgot about them.

A couple weeks later I was working in the garage and stopped to stare at these 2 brown, prickly, dried up things in a plastic garden center tray. My first thought was "what they heck are those things?" I warned you! My memory is worse than my gardening skills!

Then I remembered...and oh let me tell you, it was a sad, sad moment. The door just closed on my open-faced, warm from the sun tomato sandwiches. My basil pesto pasta sprinkled with chopped red gems from my back yard is now just a fleeting culinary creation. Smoky, salty, crunchy, juicy BLT's made from "Mortgage Lifters" just went bankrupt.

Then...I almost started sobbing when I thought of Ninny Threadgoode..."Oh, what I wouldn't give for a plate of fried green tomatoes like we used to have at the cafe. Ooh!" (read about my affliction for fried green tomatoes here)

I'm telling ya', I had to get a beach towel for the tears. A tissue was just not man enough for the job.

Then, a knight in shining armor rode into the garage on a gleaming white horse and plunked a couple pounds of heirloom tomatoes down next to my crispy "plants" on my work table. I couldn't believe my eyes! I lifted the visor of the knight's helmet to kiss him for this good and noble deed which was surely death defying and highly dangerous.

The chorus of angelic singing in my ears was interrupted by "easy there Tomato Drama Queen, ever heard of a Farmer's Market?" Then husband went back into the house. He just doesn't understand...but, sigh, loves me anyway.
 I went back to happy little culinary thoughts.
Hope your tomatoes did better than mine!


Beth R said...

Too funny!!! We were just talking about the movie FGT. More about having a "Tawanda" moment and rear ending someone's car to vent our frustrations. Few things are as perfect as a warm tomato, a couple slices of bread and a porch swing.

summersundays-jw said...

My tomatoes a yummy (not to brag) especially since we've had a little rain & cooler temps. I also grow basil & I loooooove pesto. I'd send you some but don't think they'd survive the trip. Enjoy your local farmer's mkt. Jan

time worn interiors said...

That is one of my favorite movies!

Oh, and I love BLT's! Already had them several times this year!

I don't have any tomatoes of my own, I'm just lucky enough to have great neighbors that give us some!


Kathy said...

So funny! My boss just brought a bag full in for me today - can't wait for that BLT! And, I just watched "Fried Green Tomatoes" the other day (again...) - we're all on the same page for sure...lovin' those "maters"! I didn't even get around to buying the plants...I knew someone would come to my rescue - glad your husband took care of that for you!

Have a sunny day!


Sherrie said...

Thank you so Much for your humor and wit. I was laughing so as I read this!

Unknown said...

We've been eating a lot of green tomatoes too.. what's with this year?

Lynn @The Vintage Nest said...

thanks for the chuckle this morning :) I just picked the last of my green tomatoes and pulled the plants out of the pots. They did me good this summer. :)